Reviews: (by author)

Zappa, Ahmet. The Monstrous Memoirs of a Mighty McFearless. New York: Random House, 2006. ISBN 0-375-83287-4. U.S. $12.95 / CAN. $16.95. Middle Grade Readers. www.randomhouse.com/kids

Ahmet Zappa’s The Monstrous Memoirs of a Mighty McFearless is a wonderfully gross and silly adventure story. If you take yourself too seriously, this probably wouldn’t be the right book for you.

The story is told from eleven-year-old Minerva McFearless’ point of view. She and her younger brother Maxwell are average kids who live with their widowed father. Maxwell enjoys tormenting his big sister, and she enjoys exacting revenge. There’s nothing to indicate they’re anything but “normal.” Until one day when Mr. McFearless goes into town, Max finds a hidden passage behind the fireplace in their library. There they find their father’s secret study, full of monstrous artifacts and monster-fighting paraphernalia. They also find a book called the Monstranomicon. (Actually that’s Ms. Monstranomicon. She’s a talking book.)

When their dad returns home to find two dazed kids in his secret lair, he confesses. He’s a monsterminator like those in his family before him. Not surprisingly, the bold and precocious Minerva wants to a monsterminator, too. Right now. But monsterminating is a job for grown-ups only since monsters eat children, and Minerva and Max are forbidden from entering their father’s study again.

Does that stop the children? Of course not. They sneak in whenever they can, reading from Ms. Monsterminator to learn all about monsters and how to stop them.

Then one night something horrible happens that gets the kids monsterminating a lot sooner than they had anticipated.

A mysterious box arrives at their home, and inside it lays the Enotslived diamond. Shortly thereafter monsters invade their home sent by the most evil of them all—the Zarmaglorg. Mr. McFearless hides his children in a secret room while he fights the monsters.

But when Minerva and Max awaken, they find their father has been kidnapped, and a magical talking one-eyed coyote named Mr. Devilstone has arrived to help them rescue him. And thus begins their adventure.

I think whether or not you enjoy the book will really depend on how much grossness you can handle. Get a load of this. In one of their encounters a monster warns Minerva,

'PLEASE JUST SHUT YOUR TASTY FACE UP AND LET ME EAT YOU. I’M SICK OF ALL YOUR SILLY LITTLE STATEMENTS, AND IF I HAVE TO HEAR ANY MORE OF THEM, I’M GOING TO THROW UP ALL THE DIFFERENT PEOPLE I’VE ALREADY EATEN HERE IN TOWN. AND THROWING UP IS SUCH A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME. I’VE ALWAYS HATED DOING IT, NOT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO EAT MY OWN BARF BACK UP OFF THE GROUND. I DO, AND I LOVE EATING OTHER PEOPLE’S BARF LIKE THAT.’

‘Yeah, if you say so,’ I said dodging him for the second time. Listening to him talk about puking made me want to puke, and the thought of him eating my puke made me want to puke even harder. (93-94)

I’ll just stop there. The question is, are you immature enough to handle this book?

For me the novel’s weakness wasn’t the abundant grossness. There are plenty of details in terms of monsters but I would have loved more details about Minerva and Max’s family life. For example, Minerva reveals that her mother died, but she never says how. Also, she never mentions her father’s mysterious comings and goings until after they find out he’s a monsterminator. A greater sense of mystery and anticipation would have helped me become more involved with the story. It’s like being told the punch-line to a joke before you hear the lead-in.

However, The Monstrous Memoirs of a Mighty McFearless is, overall, a fantastic romp. And in addition to a great story are the monster designs and illustrations by Ahmet Zappa himself.

Marie Soriano, June 2007

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